My Sweet Soap Box

Does Your Mother Drive You Crazy?

2012-01-09T17:27:00.000-08:00

My mother, God bless her, is a very opinionated woman... AND... she's ALWAYS RIGHT! You are never right; you are always wrong... no matter the subject; religion, politics, medicine, weather, children, nutrition, exercise... it doesn't matter what the subject is, I'm never right about anything.

Okay... I'll give her that... she can be right... she's getting older and older, so, let her win all the conversations... that' fine; even if she belittles me and makes me feel like dirt... it's the least I could do for her birthing me... right?

Through the years, she has alienated her whole family... I'm talkin', brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and cousins... even two of her own children... I'm all she has left... she has a big family (17 brothers and sisters)... some have passed on, but, the others do not want to have anything to do with her. She's so into herself and what she believes, that she doesn't care what anyone else believes... that is, anyone that is close to her. She will watch extreme Televangelist and people who talk "doom and gloom" or place fear in people and will listen to these types of people and say what they say is TRUE... we are all WRONG...

Those people will not be there for her in the end... her family will not be there for her... she has no one. I call her almost every night to check on her and see how her day has gone... she never asks about me and what I've been up to, never asks about my kids (her grandchildren), my husband... nothing... it's all about HER. Am I bitter... mad? No, I am very sad... sad for me that I have never had a mother that cared in a way that a mother should; and sad for her that she does not know her family, that she's alone, living in a place in the country where she has no neighbors... in a way it makes me feel very sorry for her and she knows that and uses it against me at times; she knows she can manipulate me and make me feel bad that she's alone, but, she lives an hour and a half away, so, I cannot see her very often.

Another thing... she takes care of my 44 year old brother who has Cerebral Palsey. I know... another reason to feel sorry for her and want to help her... BUT, again, she pushes me away in other ways, and doesn't have her other family for support... it's not because people have not offered; it's not because I haven't offered.. many times. I think she uses the situation with my brother and the fact she lives miles away and has no family to manipulate me or anyone that feels bad for her; as soon as I help her, then she will find something or make up something to make me feel bad; she has stabbed me in the heart so many times.

I'm using this blog to get my feelings out and I'm sure more will come out in future blogs... I want to let go of some things... try to move on from a place of HURT and BITTERNESS to a HAPPY PLACE... a place of PEACE and LOVE...

Right now, I'll leave it at that... thanks for reading... and listening...

Blessings,

CC

The Orgins of HeartBeat

2006-12-10T23:30:00.000-08:00

Heart Beat Information

What is Heart Beat? A group of men and women, young adults and teenagers coming together to encourage and lift up one another.
I started Heart Beat in March of 2006 after I shared about having an accountability partner ... many of you said that you did not have one and wished you did ... thus, was born "Heart Beat". It is just another way to get to know one another; a friendship group for support/help/encouragement/friendship ....THE GROUP IS GROWING!!!! I am so excited about what is going on with Heart Beat!!
We have over 1000 members actively involved ... meeting each other, making friends and building relationships ... and having a lot of fun along the way!

We now have our own Web Community at: http://www.heartbeatworld.ning.com/
We invite you to come check us out!

If you have any other questions, please comment me or email me at Swetcm12@aol.com ... Be blessed and walk in favor!

Love, Connie

HeartBeat The Magazine

2006-12-10T23:15:00.000-08:00

We have an Internet Magazine called Heartbeat the Magazine! The magazine has lot's of great articles and writings. Please go and take a look at it ...

February 2011 Issue

www.heartbeatthemagazine.com

Let us know what you think by sending FEEDBACK to heartbeatthemagazine@hotmail.com

Recapping Depression

2006-07-17T01:19:00.000-07:00

We are recapping the last ten weeks ... all of the lessons on "Depression" are posted on our website www.the-heart-beat-group.blogspot.com, if you would like to catch up ...
Where are you now?
The needs of our inner lives often go unrecognized because we don't know how to read the signs. We fail to realize that many of the problems we face have their roots in soul issues. What we think of as a problem with another person many in fact be the sour fruit of our own heart. What we think of as a problem with a job may be a problem with God. The key to effective living and personal change is dealing with the real issues at the soul level.
You are not alone with your feelings of despair or depression ... even the best spiritual leaders of the Bible had depression ... King David, Paul the Apostle, Peter the Disciple, all suffered with some form of depression.
The 10 Levels of Soul Neglect that lead to Depression are:
1. Low-Grade Depression
2. Busy but Bored
3. Loss of Control over Life's Routine
4. Loss of Responsiveness to Others
5. Withdrawal from Responsibility and Leadership
6. Preoccupation with Projects of Lesser Importance
7. Restlessness and Dissatisfaction
8. Resurgence of Unhealthy Habits, Diminished Impulse Control and Diminished Resistance to Temptation.
9. Guilt and Shame
10. A Hard Heart
We also touched on Clinical Depression and the use of medications and professional counseling ... if you or someone you know is suffering from this type of depression (chemical imbalance, etc...), please contact a caring doctor or professional ... I also have a website with phone numbers and information that can help you ... http://www.minirthclinic.com/digest-downloadpg1.html
As we assess the condition of our soul, using the ten symptoms of soul neglect, we are taking the first steps of spiritual renewal. When we have faith and the courage to take that "inner look", we are able to discover the motives, desires, and fears that have been draining the spiritual life from us. This inner look helps us both to focus on those things that are important and rewarding and to turn away from things that hinder us and waste our time. Self-understanding can begin the process of freeing us from the dark forces that control us. It breaks the hold of those forces that make us do and say the things that hurt us and those we love. Paying attention to our hearts is the first step to valuing ourselves - as God values us - and to setting us free to value and love others - as God through Christ values and loves them.
We step outside ourselves and examine our heart not only in times of crisis but also in order to avoid crisis. When we are regularly looking at our soul, being aware of what makes us do what we do, we are able to do the "soul work" that leads to a life that is consistent with our beliefs.
If you are struggling in any of the 10 areas of soul neglect or have feelings of depression, we have qualified counselors who can help you, listen to you, pray for you or direct you to other counseling if necessary ... you may email me at swetcm@aol.com or leave a comment and we will get back to you as soon as possible ...

Level # 9

2006-06-26T13:38:00.000-07:00

Before I get into the next level of depression ... I want to share a side note on Clinical/Bi-Polar Depression ...

There are many facets of depression ... Charlie and I taught a 6 week class at our church called, "Getting Over Depression" ... in the course of the study we talked about medications and treatments for depression. While I personally believe that the Lord heals through faith and prayer in most cases, there are a lot of cases I believe in finding the right doctor and using the tools that God has placed on this earth to help heal us ... we have plants and herbs and man-made materials that I believe God has given us to use for different diseases and ailments ... like I said, not everyone has to use these medications, but, some do and they help tremendously.

19 million people a year are diagnosed with some form of depression and possibly affects 25% of the population. Depression is NO respecter of persons; it is an "equal opportunity" condition. It affects all people, in all places, with no regard to age, gender, profession, education, religion, or economic status. Depression has financial costs in terms of absenteeism and low productivity. Depression has significant human costs in suffering, family disruption, and suicide.

I have a website that I want to share with you ... it is the Minirth Clinic in Dallas, Texas ... this link that I am providing will give you more information on Clinical Depression and different medications and will also link you to getting counseling or to a caring doctor ... http://www.minirthclinic.com/digest-downloadpg1.html

It's very lengthy, so you may want to print it out ... I did ... it has some great information ... I have appreciated your input I just want to provide you with all the different aspects available ... If you are suffering with depression and you cannot get that "dark cloud" to leave, then I really do urge you to contact your doctor or a "Well Qualified Couselor" to help you on the road to recovery ... and what I mean by "Well Qualified" is someone like the Minirth Clinic ... I hope this helps you or someone you know who is going through any kind of depression.

Level #9 of Depression: Guilt and Shame
Guilt has an appropriate place in the human experience. It's meant to be like pain to the body. When you feel pain, you do not savor the pain. No, you go to the doctor to diagnose the cause of the pain and find relief. Pain has told you that your body needs attention. Likewise with guilt. Guilt is pain to the soul; it indicates that something is wrong and must be attended to.

A woman who worked for an appliance dealer came for prayer one Sunday. "This is very unsual for me," she said, "but I feel I have to confess something I've done. I know the Lord forgives me, but I just can't get rid of this problem. It's blocking my fellowship with the Lord."

She shared how she had been asked by management to falsify warranty information so they could get refunds on defective merchandise. "At first I protested but then gave in under pressure - they called me 'Miss Goody Two-shoes' and said it was all part of the job. After a while, I did it without even thinking twice. But it's begun to eat at me. I feel so guilty."

Deliberate sin shrinks the soul, wringing vitality from it. Guilt is an objective state of having violated a law or personal value. Most of us get confused by not understanding that guilt is an indicator, not a cure. Guilt is the God-given, natural response of the human heart to the violation of an objective law. The problem arises when we have recognized that we were wrong but we are unable to shake a sense of oppressive sorrow and regret. This kind of guilt immobilizes us, draining every ounce of strength. It casts a dark shadow over all pleasures. It seeks discomfort for penance. It tells us over and over and over that we deserve nothing good, that we deserve to be miserable. This is the "worldly sorrow" referred to in 2 Corinthians 7:10.

A second dimension to guilt is SHAME. Many of us have not understood that shame is different from guilt. Shame is that sense of lowered self-esteem that accompanies a thought, word, or act that you believed was inappropriate. (I have felt shame before ... I wrote an email about 5 months ago to someone and said some mean things ... as soon as I hit "send" I wished I had it back ... have you ever said or done something that you could take back and felt ashamed for doing it?). SHAME is the lingering echo of a guilty action. Some have distinguished the two in the following formula: Guilt says, "I did wrong." Shame says, "I am wrong." Obviously when shame attacks a person's self-worth, it can be very debilitating.

The next level is Level #10 A Hard Heart ....

Level #8

2006-06-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

On to the 8th level of Depression: Unhealthy Habits, Impulse's and Diminished Resistance to Temptation ...

This complex of symptoms is like a decrease in the body's immune system. The white blood cells are the disease fighters of the body. But when the white cell count is down, we cannot defend ourselves. Even so, spiritual vitality defends us against the enemies of life. A low "spiritual white cell count" leaves us p open to all strains of "temptation viruses."

When our souls need attention, we may try to satisfy the wrong appetite. We may misread the inner discomfort we feel and do, exactly the opposite of what we really need to do. A person out in a snowstorm may become very sleepy. He may not realize it, but he is beginning to suffer from hypothermia. Though he has a long way to go, he may feel an irresistible urge to lie down and sleep. He thinks that if he can rest for a little while, he'll recover his energy. What will happen if he does lie down and sleep? He will die ..

When a person feels the need to do something that seems so right but will result in tragedy, it is a sign of spiritual hypothermia. That person is in a desperate situation, wanting exactly the opposite of what her heart really needs.

This lady came to me one time and told me that she had fallen in love with another man, who can please her in ways her husband doesn't. I said, "You might as well go to sleep in a snowstorm."

Temptation is a complex, powerful force that has tendrils reaching into all the crevices of our reservoir. Any number of factors can contribute to the germination of the evil blossom in our hearts. Most often, the problem can be traced to a starved spirit which knows that it's actions are absurd. But it proceeds in a desperate search for satisfaction.

"I knew I was wrong when I was doing it," the woman confessed to me. "So why did you do it?" "I don't know, I honestly don't know, but I would give anything to have those days back. I was in such a fog. Now everything is so clear. Why didn't I give the Lord a chance to stop me?" She said all of this bawling her eyes out!

WE BINGE ON SIN when we are starved for grace. Whether the issue is money, food, or sex - whether in fantasy, or action - the warning signs are FLASHING, if we are preoccupied with these, and the soul is in critical need. Vulnerability to temptation is the fever of the soul, not the germ of the disease. The parched desires of soul drought make us crave the closest "relief" even if it is toxic. Falling into sin is disgusting, but a genuine soul need usually lies beneath the sinful act. WE NEED TO FOCUS NOT ONLY ON THE SINFUL ACT BUT ALSO ON THE HEART CRY BEHIND IT.

And we will on the next lesson as we discuss Guilt and Shame ...
Meditate on these questions:
*Is there an attitude to be changed?
*Is there a sin to be confessed?
*Is there an action to be taken or avoided?
*Is there an example to follow?
*Is there a promise to claim?
*Is there a characteristic of God I need to appreciate and affirm for my life?
*Is there a truth/doctrine to be understood and applied?

I am believing and praying that these lessons are healing those of you who are struggling with hurt, bitterness, jealousy and everything that comes with depression ... and I pray that it is helping those of you who know someone who is dealing with these issues to better understand them and be sympathetic towards them .... Amen!!

Blessings, Connie

Level # 7

2006-06-05T23:36:00.000-07:00

The 7th level of soul neglect is Restlessness and Dissatisfaction:

The loss of contentment is a spiritual problem. The story is told of a man named King Pyrrhus who planned to invade Italy. He called for Cineas, a philosopher and his friend, to inform him of his plan. Cineas asked him why he planned to invade Italy.

"To conquer it," said the King. "And what will you do when you have conquered it?" "Go on to France." And Cineas asked, "Well, what will you do when you conquer France?" "I will go on to Germany." "What then?" asked the friend. "Conquer Spain." said the King. "I perceive," said Cineas, "you mean to conquer all the world. What will you do when you have conquered all?" "Then we will return and enjoy ourselves at quiet in our own land," said the King. "So you may do now without all this ado" said Cineas.

But Cineas could not convince the King to not go to battle and the King's discontent and desire for conquest ended up being ruined by the Romans ...
Restlessness is a symptom of an UNMET NEED. As in many situations, the symptoms may be a long way from the source, confusing us and seeming to land us in different directions. The King had ambitions for conquest, but beneath them was the desire for rest - a rest of satisfaction and contentment he thought was available only after further conquests. His counselor pointed out that he could already have what he truly sought, but not without an adjustment of thinking.

I'm no expert, but I've heard physicians speak of "radiating pain," which manifests itself in one area of the body but has its source in another area. This can happen with restlessness. Some people bale out of marriage through an affair, when the need was not for sex but for a sense of significance, which sex can never satisfy. Others go from job to job and place to place looking at the outside world for something that can only be found in the inner world - and that, once found, can make any place a home.

When we live apart from the soul, we find ourselves constantly striving for things that can be ours now if we but stop and receive them from the Lord. Discontent and envy drain our joy, leaving us with bitterness and dissatisfaction. We have lost sight of our own WORTH, of our BLESSINGS. Instead, we look in the wrong places for SATISFACTION. This makes us especially vulnerable to the next symptom of spiritual neglect ... which will be revealed next week ...

I want you to truly examine your life ... are you content with with yourself? Do you find yourself becoming jealous or envious of what others have? The sad thing about this is that the person or persons that you are jealous of may be going through the same things you are going through ...

One thing that I have appreciated by meeting some of you through emails and on Xanga is that you have opened up and poured out your hearts ... once you have poured out your heart to someone, that mask falls off and healing can begin ... If you are experiencing depression or any kind of jealousy or bitterness, hurt, etc... I encourage you to open up to your partner or to me and "get it all out there" and take that "mask" off and get some healing in your life ... you will experience a "freedom" that you have not felt in a long time ...
You can do it!

Hugs, Connie

Level #6

2006-05-31T01:35:00.000-07:00

We are continuing our study on "Depression" ... If you ever get the chance, purchase the book "Soulshaping; Taking Care of Your Spiritual Life", By: Douglas J. Rumford. I'm getting a lot of my info from this book and it's just an excellent book to read ...

I have all of the past studies on depression below, so that you may read and catch up and/or copy them for your folder if you wish ...

Your Partners are listed below, also ...

"Depression" level # 6 - Preoccupation with Projects of Lesser Importance:

This level goes hand in hand with backing away from responsibilities. We keep doing things, but we turn to those things that are less demanding. When you find yourself continually clearing the desk intead of writing a report, or straightening the piles of work instead of eliminating them, OR making lists instead of completing them, you may be dealing with a soul problem. Your lack of energy and motivation may be a signal that your inner life needs more attention. If you tend it, you'll be able to do those other things.

Few people have taken the time to understand the role of the soul in motivation. It's the crucial element. I have son's who play sports and I have seen where the coaches spend as much time working on the mental and emotional attitudes of the athletes as they do on their physical skills and aptitudes.

I have heard the coaches at various times say, "Guys, you have got to have the "inner winner" in order to have a victory!" More often than not, it's the attitude that makes or breaks the athletic performance. When our focus is on the important elements of the "inner winner" we are less likely to be distracted by the more trivial outer elements.

When we fail to care for our souls, our vision is distorted, our hope dims, our energy fades and we do busy work instead of meaningful work ...
Question: "Are you finding yourself in some of these situations that we have discussed?" I know that in my life, knowing the church leadership the way I do, I have to be careful not show a bad attitude towards them ... and I believe that goes for anybody really ... your boss, coworkers, etc... people you know all too well that are in some sort of Leadership Postition, that when you see day after day, week after week, their flaws and shortcomings, not to be so critical ... some of us think to ourselves, "I think I could do it better" or "I have a better idea" or "If they would only do it the way I see it done" ... Our ATTITUDE SHOULD BE "God has placed them in that leadership role and I should respect that." And ya know what? If I truly believe that, then the Lord will deal with them accordingly if they are not doing what they should be doing ... is this not true?
Next Monday's lesson will be level #7 - "Restlessness and Dissatisfaction."

If you are struggling with Depression, please email me and share with me ... I have been there and done that and I know a lot of wonderful Xanga people that have been through it and we may have some answers for you ... you are not alone!

"May the Lord bring you into an ever deeper understanding of the love of God and of the patience that comes from Christ." II Thessalonians 3:5

Have a blessed day and walk in favor~

Hugs, Connie

Level #5

2006-05-31T01:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Heart Beat Monday Everybody!

If you do not know what Heart Beat is all about, please read the last blog on the page and it will explain everything ...

If you are doing a folder of the lessons, I have all of them posted so that you may print them ...

We have been talking about "Soul Neglect" which leads to "Depression" ... today I will be sharing the 5th symptom of soul neglect ...
#5. Withdrawal from Responsibility and Leadership:

When we see another person begin to resist, refuse or renege on their responsibilities, their soul is calling out for care. A person may be dropping the ball because his arms are absolutely loaded. She may need compassion rather than condemnation to help her manage the burdens she already has. When the inner lake has been drained, it's too low to support the weights of life.

One of my friends stepped out of several significant positions of leadership in the community and at church ... She said, "I reached a point where I resented those meetings and functions because while I was doing things to make life better for others, my own world was going from bad to worse." She looked secure and all put together on the outside, but her heart was withering from neglect. She couldn't remember the last time she had quality time with her husband and children. "But the real blow was struck when I opened my "Reading through the Bible in a Year" guide and saw that I had read the Bible once in 6 months."

RESPONSE - ABILITY is just that: the ability to respond to a need. When our reservoirs are drained, we have all we can do just to manage our own lives, let alone serve others. If we try to fulfill our responsibilities apart from God's power, as I'm prone to do, then they can become a crushing burden.

Everyone has a call from God to serve in this world. Each call is as unique as each individual. Each call, undertaken in the name of Jesus, is spiritual, regardless of the occupation or activity. When you care for your soul, you begin to see your activity in light of that call, and you can experience genuine concern as well as spiritual joy.

A scripture to ponder:

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him." Psalm 62:1

What does this mean when life seems to be crashing in all around you?

Next Monday we will be discussing the 6th symptom of soul neglect, "Preoccupation with Projects of Lesser Importance."

Have a blessed day and walk in favor~

Love, Connie

Levels #3 and #4

2006-05-31T01:29:00.000-07:00

Today is Monday and we are on the subject of "Depression" ... It is so cool to know that some of you are printing out the pages and making a folder ... this is great ... that way you can always look back over the notes and refresh your memory ... or if you don't have time to read it on here, you can read it later ... I have posted the first two levels of depression in the blogs below for those of you that want/need to catch up ...

We are going to look at the 3rd and 4th levels of Depression; #3. Loss of Control over Life's Routine and #4. Loss of Responsiveness to Others (these two go hand in hand).

I have become more and more convinced that human beings have an amazing tolerance for MISERY ... How many of us absolutely refuse to go to a doctor to get the help we need? Instead we tolerate the misery ... my husband, Charlie, is like that ... while this is true of physical ailments, it is especially true in Spiritual matters. People are reluctant to speak with a pastor, counselor or friend. If we were to reach out, however, another person could "hold up a mirror" in which we might be better to see and understand what's going on inside us.

Are you doing things that really matter to you? Do you find yourself always saying, "Next month things will be under control," only to find out that next month is worse? We are designed for a basic amount of order in our lives. Some personalities need more order than others. But a loss of order can be devastating to anyone. Studies by sociologists have shown that there is one common factor in suicide: a direct correlation to anonmy, which means, literally, "without law" in the sense of being without ORDER. Disorder has a negative spiritual effect on us. For many people, control over the routine is not merely a matter of being "Type A" or "DRIVEN"; it's a matter of managing the many demands of life so that the truly important priorities are not crowded out.

Routine often gets a bad rap, but it is one of "life's economies" for the budgeting of our energy. Routine is not only a time-saver but also an energy saver. It lessens the number of decisions we have to make so that we can conserve our emotional and mental resources for important decisions. It's been said that the average person today makes more decisions in a year than their grandparents made in a LIFETIME! Incredible!! No wonder it's so tough keeping our lives in order! It's draining and it wears on our souls ..

In times of soul neglect, our relationships often bear the strain. We find it difficult to be with people we used to enjoy. (I know this to be true). Comments or actions you used to overlook now provoke a negative reaction. Even if you control the outward expression, you often find yourself boiling on the inside. Right? Spiritual subjects are no longer natural, inviting topics of conversation with others. We are irritable and judgemental toward others, weary of putting up with or overlooking their flaws and habits.

This soul loss is apparent when we just want to check out of feeling responsible to and for others. Their needs are burdens we don't want to bear. We are tired with what some have called, "Compassion Fatigue" (that's what happened to me a while back). We know we should pick up the phone or write an email or letter. For a variety of reasons, the self and the soul feel depleted. They've run out of COPE. Demands and requests are seen as intruders. When we feel crowded, out of control and overwhelmed, we are soul drained.

My mother lives in East Texas on a farm and her water supply comes from a well ... The water is stored in a small holding tank. If we were to shower for too long, the tank drained and then look out! It would start drawing up the rust, and gunk from the bottom of the tank and spit it out on us. When your TANK is drained and somebody turns your faucet on one too often, the rust, grit and sludge of your soul spews out, instead of the "streams of living water."

We know we have trouble when little problems get big reactions. That's a symptom that our soul is asking for attention. We are being warned that our reserves are too low. If we can't love our brother and sister, it's probably because we haven't taken time to look at the ONE who loves us best ... that would be the LORD.

Have a blessed day and walk in favor~

Hugs, Connie

Level #2

2006-05-31T01:27:00.000-07:00

The Second Level of Depression is:
Busy but Bored ...

When we are active but exhausted, we may be facing some serious soul trouble. Initially, we thrive on the activity. It is great to have options, adventures, interesting things to do, people to meet, and places to go. We can feel powerful, needed, important. Hummmmmm ... A full calendar tells us that we are in DEMAND .... BUT, it doesn't last. Even the good things we can do lead to BURNOUT. If we assume the goal is happiness, we draw the conclusion that the only way to stay happy is to keep moving, (I used to think this way) - and that soon becomes intolerable. We have a calendar that is full but a heart that is withering, shrinking, unable to care deeply or to experience pleasure fully. We want everything to stop, but we find that no activity is even more frightening than too much ... I know soooo many people like this. When we've had moments of quiet, the inner ache has been too much. I have known so many people who seemingly had everything going for them in life on the outside but felt lonely and empty on the inside. They lost their joy; they were BORED with the very life that they spent all their energies to achieve .. does this sound like you?

Boredom should NOT be understood to refer to a lack of activity, like when the kids are at the end of their summer vacation and they are all played out and are ready to start school again. Boredom refers to a lack of meaning felt in all the activities we're doing.

"While busy and worried about things, we seldom feel truly satisfied, at peace, or at home. A gnawing sense of being unfulfilled underlies our filled lives. Thinking a little more on this experience of unfulfillment I can sense different things. The most significant are boredom, resentment and depression. Boredom is a sense of disconnection. While busy with many things, we wonder if what we do makes any REAL difference. Life presents itself as a random, unconnected series of activities and events over which we have little or no control. To be bored, therefore does not mean that we have nothing to do but that we question the VALUE of the things we are so busy doing. The great paradox of our time is that many of us are so busy and bored at the same time. While running from one event to the next we wonder in our innermost selves if anything is really happening. While we can hardly keep up with our many tasks and obligations we are not so sure that it would make any difference if we did nothing at all." by Henri Nouwen, Author of "Making All Things New."

In this condition, a person has little energy for the things of life that used to give pleasure. There is activity without meaning. You may be looking for "escapes" that you never even considered before just to get some fun back into your life. Too often we try to fight this problem with more activity; reading more books, doing more things, being with more people. The condition usually worsens. When people feel trapped like this, the choices seem to be that we either turn our backs on it all or give up our hopes and accept that this is just the way things are going to be.

What I would like for you to do with these first two levels is step back and evaluate them in your own life ... if one or both of the levels sounds like you, then ask yourself, "When did I begin to experience this symptom? What was happening in my life, both "inside" and "out"?

Think about it, meditate on it and chew on it for this week ... what are some things you can do differently to change the symptom(s)?
There are answers, but, those will come later in the next levels ...
Next Monday's Heart Beat continued lesson on Depression will be the 3rd level called, "Loss of Control over Life's Routine."

I just want to give you a little bit at a time to think about it ... as I have and others have said before, Depression is a debilatating condition and something that we should approach in layers and levels, one step at a time ... if you have questions, just email me ... if you have something you want to share about Depression, let me know and I will highlight your blog, especially if you have a testimony of overcoming Depression!

Have a blessed day and walk in favor~

Love, Connie

Level #1

2006-05-31T01:23:00.000-07:00

The first level of depression I want to talk about today is Low-Grade "Depression Fever"...

All throughout the Psalms, David talks about the condition of his soul A LOT. "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me?" (Ps. 42:5). And on another occasion he said, "My soul also is sorely troubled." (Ps. 6:3). On these occasions, he took time to look within, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to discern his soul need and God's solution.
Is your soul full of living water? Or is your soul drained dry? If someone was to ask you to describe your spiritual condition, what would you say?

The word that came to me when I was going through depression was "EMPTINESS" ... I felt empty and depleted of energy, faith, hope ... GOD ...
The feeling of emptiness is actually the most common symptom of soul neglect that I have found among people I have counseled and in my own life in the past ... The symptoms of soul neglect are meant to be tools for examining your own heart, the person you truly are in your soul. Let's start out with Low Grade Depression Fever:

Depression is widespread, especially among spiritually sensitive people. I am not talking about Clinical Depression (we will talk about that later), I am referring to a spiritual depression in which a person, feeling fine in most other ways, feels distant and cut off from God. This can vary from mild to severe, but it is an experience dreaded by those who have tasted the goodness of God.
It amazed me to find out that many great men and women of God through the ages experienced this type of depression .. how can that be? The Great preacher of the 1800's, Charles Spurgeon, had the largest church in the world at that time ... he was known for his integrity and deep faith in God. Yet he knew the darkness of depression. There are stories that after he preached to the masses, he would go home on Sunday evening and curl up in bed in complete despair ... that just blows me away ...

There are people in the Bible who struggled with depression ... we already talked about King David a little .. how about Elijah, fleeing for his life, he hid in a cave and repeatedly said, "I, even, I only, am left." (I Kings 19). His despair grew so desperate that he said, "It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life." (I Kings 19:4) ... He had just gone through a spiritual battle on Mt. Carmel. Spiritual service does not make us immune to spiritual depression, in fact, we are more susceptible to it.

This type of depression is best described in terms of coldness and unresponsiveness to spiritual things. Life is blue and blah ... the person feels guilty for feeling so dull but cannot find any relief. They continue to live the life of faith, functioning out of commitment but without desire. (I have talked to many of you that have felt this way.) There may be activity, but there's no FIRE!
There are others who descend into much darker valleys, where they reject what they used to believe. "I just don't believe that anymore" or "I used to believe that." They express a deep sense of disappointment that their faith didn't hold up in times of testing or that it hasn't produced what they expected. They usually don't realize that they neglected many or most of the essential, foundational practices that nurture their spirit. This is not the time to ask a person how much time they have spent in prayer lately, but the answer could be quite revealing .... the sadness of depression is not only the sense of having lost touch with God, but, also of being ridiculed for ever believing in the first place.
Depression does stem from some sense of loss ... it can arise from a number of sources ... it is the MOST common manifestations of soul dryness and it's usually connected with one or more of the symptoms that we will be talking about in the weeks ahead ...

Are you empty today? How is your spiritual life? If the answers are "YES" and "NOT WHAT IT SHOULD BE", then I want to encourage you to start today, praying and reading the word of God ... The Bible is truly nourishment for your soul and spirit ... just as you eat food for your body to grow and survive ... the Word of God is for your spirit to grow and survive ... we have A LOT of "Spiritual Anorexic's" out there ... start feeding your SPIRIT today ... if you need help getting started, I will be glad to help you or some of the other ladies that I have highlighted today will be glad to help you ...

You don't have to fight the battle of depression alone ... The Lord spoke to my heart about this study and every since I wrote the Introduction Blog to depression, I have had an overwhelming response of comments and emails on the subject ... it is hard to talk about because some of us have been taught that we are "WEAK" if we have depression or we are not a "good Christian" or "good person" ... that is absolutely not true ... I just pointed out some of the most Godliest people in history battled depression ... we are in good company my friends ... now let's help one another and reach for the LIGHT!

Next week we will touch on the next level of depression ... "Busy But Bored" ...

Have a blessed day and walk in favor~

Love, Connie